I am not sure how to say, “I miss you”
without fearing your reply. Days, months
and years came upon me quickly, so
that now, the past seems distant and
I seem callous. I was drowning and still
I circle the edge of a pond that I am at
the bottom of. If today is a struggle for me,
I cannot speak. Today is a struggle for you,
but because you need support,
I cannot ask for yours. Somewhere,
at sometime, I thought, I cannot give
and take. It must be then that I remove
myself, so that I avoid taking too much.
Time is not my friend, no more than
the persistent blackness of my mind is.
Tandem brothers, “be forgotten”
and “tomorrow” speak without pause,
When I have pushed
back the edge of my thoughts,
bleeding like watercolor
my desires, my personality, my perception,
I am cautious because it appears
that I have forgotten you. Just know,
missing doesn’t happen without love.